Friday Funnies

The Back Nine

A friend sent this to me.  Only those of us of, ahem, a certain age will get and appreciate it.  If you're in that category, enjoy.

THE BACK NINE

 
I FIRST STARTED READING THIS EMAIL & WAS READING FAST UNTIL I REACHED THE THIRD SENTENCE. I STOPPED AND STARTED OVER READING SLOWER AND THINKING ABOUT EVERY WORD. THIS EMAIL IS VERY THOUGHT PROVOKING. MAKES YOU STOP AND THINK.
it's so true.
 
You know .. Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

But, here it is..  The back nine of my life   and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that I was only on the first hole and the back nine was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting grey...they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change....Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant..but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will.. I just fall asleep where I sit!
 
And so...now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though I'm on the back nine, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over on this earth...it's over for here. A new and better adventure will begin!
Yes, I have regrets.   There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.

So, if you're not on the back nine yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you're on the back nine or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life....so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!
 
"Life" is a gift to you.   The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one. LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY ! HAVE A GREAT DAY   ! Remember  "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver .
 
LASTLY, CONSIDER THIS:
~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect!
~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!
~You forget names.... But it's OK because some people forgot they even knew you!!!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything like golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you aren't as interested in anymore, but you really don't care that you aren't as interested.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV 'ON' than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???
~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.

~~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS !!

Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.
 
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS
GOD BLESS All THOSE THAT READ THIS   .

Motivation Monday

Rules For Daughters

A few weeks ago I saw a great list of rules for Sons and had a post on them.  Now, providentially I saw a similar list over on FB that a great friend posted.  So I'll provide them here.  Lots of great things to think about.

1. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt. But, wash your face, and get up off the floor when you’re done. You don’t belong down there.
2. You are a woman, you do not need a man, but you can absolutely enjoy your life with a good one.
3. Happiness is not a permanent state. Wholeness is. Don’t confuse these.
4. Never walk through an alley alone.
5. ‘Can’t’ - is a cop-out.
6. Hold your heroes to a high standard. Be your own hero.
7. If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to.
8. Stay true to yourself always.
9. Your body, your rules.
10. If you have an opinion, you’d better know why.
11. Practice your passions.
12. Ask for what you want. The worst thing they can say is no.
13. Wish on stars, and then get to work to make them happen.
14. Stay as sweet as you are.
15. Say Please, Thank You, and Pardon Me, whenever the situation warrants it.
16. Reserve “I’m sorry” for when you truly are!
17. Question everything ... except your own intuition.
18. You are amazing! Don't let anyone ever make you feel you are not. If someone does....walk away. You deserve better.
19. No matter where you are, you can always come home.
20. Be happy and remember your roots, family is EVERYTHING.
21. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
22. Be kind; treat others how you would like them to treat you.
23. If in doubt, remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown. 👑

A Bounty of Riches

I don't know...maybe it's the time of year.  Maybe it's that I'm getting older and more appreciative.  Maybe experience teaches us something.  Lately, I've been almost overcome several times by things that are just routine.  Today we had to go to the grocery store for some items, and while walking up and down the aisles, the goods on the shelves almost took my breath away.  I mean, literally there is no other place on the planet that have the routine, normal, everyday "stuff" that we have.  We had to go to Costco for some things and once again walking up and down the aisles was almost overwhelming. Where else is this replicated?  I've been around the world to almost every conceivable modern city and desperate shithole (yes...they do exist).  Everywhere has stores and economies that support the population, but nowhere has the consistent bounty of riches available to anyone who walks in the door.

And then I turn on the TV or search the Internet and see the hate and discontent.  Everyone is at everyone's throat.  Political disagreements become mortal wars.  One comment can make the Twittisphere explode.  Insults are common.  And yet...we can do that.  We are free to do that.  And the truth is that in the general population it isn't as bad as the media makes it out to be.  In the history of mankind, this experiment called America is unique in allowing all kinds of dissent.  I was discussing this with my 8th grade Granddaughter and the more I talked the more I realized (and I hope she realized) that recognizing that citizens have God-given rights is just so unique.  And precious.  I hear everyday people lamenting that the country is going to hell.  But as long as we have that Constitution and adhere to it's principles, we'll be okay.

Especially as the economy improves, I see opportunities increasing for everyone.  I know there is still desperate poverty and crime and haves and have nots.  But the guarantee that the country gives to every citizen, an opportunity, is becoming more of a reality for more people.  There is no guarantee of success but there is a guarantee of opportunity.  As long as we can expand opportunity, people can achieve better circumstances.  The hallmark of every generation in America has been for people to improve their lives through seizing opportunities so that the next generation will have a better life.  I think we're seeing this continuing.

So don't get me wrong.  Problems abound.  Issues are polarizing.  Poverty and racism is still too common amongst our citizens.  Violence is too pervasive in squashing dissent.  But, for me anyway, the good news vastly outweighs the bad.  And if you look around, you might feel the same.

Migrant Caravan or Alien Invasion?

It's like so, so many things in our culture.  Words matter.  Depending upon where you are and what venue you're speaking in, you have to be careful.  The politically correct culture has become pervasive and now has been embedded in almost every aspect of our lives.  I can't even document all of the crazy PC attacks on language that we see every day.  And one of the things that has happened is that we are inundated with PC language through the media.  Since the vast majority are left wing sympathizers, they embrace the PC culture and pass it on to the rest of us.

Which brings me to the latest thing in our language that irks me.  So we know that there are thousands of people who have been talked in to, coerced, paid, cajoled or whatever to undertake a trek of thousands of miles North to the U.S. These people come from all parts of society and since the society is corrupt and poor, most of them are from that stratum.  They are supposedly escaping a terrible situation and seeking a better life.  Of course, Mexico offered them that but most decided to keep going to try and reach the U.S.  And who could blame them I guess.  But Trump is having none of it.  He will secure the border against these people at all costs.  They are portrayed as simple, poor people just looking for a better life.  They are together and traveling.  Hence the name "caravan".  They are supposedly itinerant workers.  Hence the name "migrant".  But any logical, thinking person should be able to see that this is an invasion.  They see an opportunity to get to the promised land and are willing to risk a lot of try it.  And while they want work, there are clearly all kinds of people in the group.  So I can't see them as anything other than an Alien Invasion.  That's not remotely PC, but that's how I see it.  You will never hear that term on the news, but that's what it is.  And if your home and land is being invaded, shouldn't you do something about it?  Or want to do something about it?  Most can see that but there is a big segment of the population that believes that we should open the borders and let anyone in who wants to come.  But we've seen that movie before.  Europe has done just that and they are reaping the consequences right now.  It's a mess, they know it's a mess, and there isn't anything they can do about it.

Book Recommendations II

Back in Nov, 2017 I had a post in which I provided a few boodk recommendations.  You can read it here.  It's not something I normally do but I've read a few good books since posting those recommendations and thought I'd do it again.  As before, not everyone has the same tastes so you might not be interested.  That's okay.  Different strokes for different folks.

1.  The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

This book is really a teenage book.  I saw that our youth group at Church is reading it so thought I'd give it a try.  I'm glad I did.  It's the story of a young black girl who comes from a very poor and dysfunctional family living in the projects.  But her parents are smart enough to realize that for her to make something of herself she needs a better education than she can get at the local school.  So they scrape enough money together along with scholarships, use an uncle's address in the suburbs, and she transfers to an all white (or mostly white) school away from her surroundings.  She blossoms and does well but still lives in 'the hood' so she is surrounded by violence, temptation and danger.  One night at a party, she accepts a ride with a gang-banger and in the course of the evening he is killed by a cop.  The rest of the book tells the story of her coming to terms with this event, with herself, and with her environment while living in two different worlds.  It is a fascinating and well told story.  I have to admit that it really made me think about the plight of people living in a world so very different and more dangerous than mine.  It also made me evaluate how I think about people and wonder about that old adage, "walking a mile in their shoes".  

2.  The Coldest Winter:  America and the Korean War by David Halberstram

Oh no...not another Korean War book!  This was recommended by a friend and it was very good.  It not only told the story of this horrific war, but it diverged to tell the story of some of the most important politicians and military officers who directed the war.  The battlefield scenes and descriptions are gruesome but eye opening and are necessary to tell  the story.  But that doesn't make them any easier to swallow.  The descriptions of the men involved in the war are interesting and provide an insightful window into their thinking and actions.  It must be said that Gen MacArthur doesn't come off very well and is consistent with other accounts of him that I have read.  While depicted as larger than life, he seemed disengaged, distracted and plain wrong much of the time.  It's a book that you will enjoy if you're interested in the subject.  Otherwise, it might be a struggle.

3.  Grant by Ron Chernow

Ron Chernow is a great biographer and he has done a great job with President Grant.  I learned a lot about him and came to respect his capability and contributions much more than I had previously.  He has been given a bad rap about drinking over the years but I think, if the book is to be believed, that the truth is a lot different.  Did he have a drinking problem at various points in his life?  Yes.  But he was able to fight it and largely conquer it.  That he was a brilliant General and perhaps our most brilliant in history cannot be disputed.  He absolutely understood the nature of the fight he was in and did what was required to win.  But he was gracious in defeat.  He was not a person you would expect would ascend to the Presidency but circumstances wound up thrusting him into the job.  He perhaps did more with less support than anyone in history.  Over the course of the book I came to admire him greatly and genuinely feel he has not been given his due in the history books.  If you like biographies, you'll like this.

Shooting Yourself in the Foot

Saw this cartoon and my first reaction was...Yep.  And the second was...why does he do that?  I mean, he's done a lot of very good things.  Many of his policies I can really get behind.  The chopping of regulations, securing the border, the tax cut, judicial appointments, tearing up the Iran deal, exiting the Paris Accords, approving ANWAR, and on and on.  There is a lot of good news.  But he just keeps shooting himself in the foot.  Not with his base.  His base is his base and they will stick with him.  But his base only gives him about 35-40% of the people at most.  He's losing the middle.  He's losing the independents.  He's losing women.  He's losing Dems who are middle-left and had an inclination to vote for him over Hilary.  And he's losing guys like me.  In short, he's losing those that he needs to win in 2020.  He has long been an obnoxious Tweeter.  How many times have you heard that someone will comment that they wish he would stop the Tweets.  But that's not going to happen.  He is combative and has an ego rarely seen.  He's a New York street fighter and will never, ever turn the other cheek. If someone hits him, he hits back.  Hard.  If someone comments about something that he perceives as a threat or an affront (even if it's not) he hits back.  And clearly that's what his base loves.  But that's not going to be enough.  His ego is off the charts.  He really believes (I think) that he is very popular across the board.  And his war against the press is unwinnable.  What's the old saying?  Don't get in an argument (let along go to war) with someone who buys ink by the barrel.  But he thinks he's winning.  And he is...with his base.  Most Americans cherish the First Amendment and want an independent press.  Now don't get me wrong.  The press generally hates Trump.  But he largely made that bed.  Now he has to sleep in it.  They aren't going to be fair.  They are going to slant, smear, and sling mud every single day.  They are going to do everything in their power to destroy him.  So he goes to war.  An unwinnable war.  Stupid.  But he can't help it.

Recently he has gotten in fights he didn't have to fight and made comments he didn't have to make.  You've seen them.  Going after ADM McRaven for not getting Osama Bin Laden fast enough was stupid.  I mean, the guy is enormously respected and a war hero.  It reminded me of when he went after John McCain.  Stupid.  Remember who won that little battle?  Remember McCain's vote on Health care Reform?  Yep.  The Saudi Arabia thing is an unwinnable situation that requires a deft and nuanced touch.  But he doesn't have a nuanced bone in his body.  You've heard the story.  This journalist, Kashoogi was murdered in the Saudi Embassy in Istanbul and there are finger prints of the Crown Prince all over it.  First, if it wasn't about a journalist and if the media/press didn't hate and loath Trump, then it wouldn't have made headlines.  But they sensed blood in the water.  So there are all kinds of leaks and he ultimately decides that this one incident isn't worth upsetting the relationship between the U.S. and a key ally.  But he casually dismisses it without any apparent recognition of how the story has exploded in the press and that it will continue to dog him.  No matter..."maybe he did, and maybe he didn't".  Tone deaf.  And he goes after a sitting judge who didn't rule in favor of the new asylum rules.  And by extension went after the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.  So Justice Roberts pipes up and defends his judges and Trump has to hit back.  Has to.  And it's stupid.  There are people out there decrying this move as dangerous because it's not just going after a person but an institution that is one of the three branches of government.  Undermining our checks and balances is said to be very dangerous and I tend to agree.  Today, he's in Mar-A-Lago with his family enjoying Thanksgiving.  And every day he doesn't visit the troops in a forward location he is losing guys like me.  And I don't know what genius arranged the staged phone call to some selected service members overseas, but it was stupid.  And again he couldn't help himself and started spouting his successes to sooth his ego.  

It seems like there is something every week.  Multiple things.  Sometimes every day.  It's distressing. It's tiresome.  And at some point (at least for me) its unacceptable.  Because it's exhausting.  I really don't think that the country wants to be exhausted by the shenanigans of their President.  And even keel is called for.  

There is a slight glimmer of good news for him.  There really is no one on the Dem side who is in the stable of people who might run for President who I could support.  And (as of today) no one who I think a center-right country like ours would elect.  Will there be someone who emerges as a challenger on the Republican side?  That's  not something usually done but we don't live in usual times.  There are a few folks who, if they ran, I could support over him assuming he doesn't change and continues his combative and ego-driven ways.  And I think that's a safe assumption.  Are you listening Nikki Haley and Ben Sasse?

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

Motivation Monday

RULES FOR SONS

Saw this over on FB.  It's really good!

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.
3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Request the late check-out.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
9. Play with passion or not at all…
10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.
11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
14. You marry the girl, you marry her family.
15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
18. Never turn down a breath mint.
19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.
22. Eat lunch with the new kid.
23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
24. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
25. Manners maketh the man.
26. Give credit. Take the blame.
27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
28. Write down your dreams.
29. Always protect your siblings (and teammates).
30. Be confident and humble at the same time.
31. Call and visit your parents often. They miss you.
32. The healthiest relationships are those where you’re a team; where you respect, protect, and stand up for each other.

Friday Funnies

Given our times...this seems appropriate.

Motivation Monday

This seems sorta appropriate as the mid-term elections approach on Tuesday.  It's going to be an interesting day...

New Ad

This just hit the airwaves a couple of days ago.  I'm sure one side thinks it's inflammatory, racist, unreasonable, stereotyping, and every other perjorative that you can think of.  And the other side just thinks it's reality.  Whatever you think one thing is for sure, it's hard hitting.

Which leads to the real message.

PLEASE VOTE!

Friday Funnies