The Department of Defense (DoD) is proud to announce a new fleet of Class 1069 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships USS Daring and USS Dauntless, the naming committee has, after intensive pressure from Congress, renamed them USS Cautious and USS Prudent.
The next five ships are to be USS Empathy, USS Circumspect, USS Nervous, USS Timorous and USS Apologist. Costing $850 million each they comply with the very latest employment, equality, health and safety and human rights laws.
The U.S. Navy fully expects any future enemy to be decent and to comply with the same high standards of our behavior.Sailors will only work a maximum of 40 hours per week as per union rules on working hours, time and a half for overtime and double time on Sundays and holidays, even in wartime.
A majority of Senators have suggested a "non-specific" flag because the current "Stars and Stripes" may offend some Nations during port calls.
The newly re-named USS Cautious will be commissioned shortly by muslim cleric from the Washington DC Mosque who will detonate a small explosive device near the hull.
As she will gently slide into the sea the Marines Corp Band will play "In the Navy" by the Village People. Her first deployment will be to escort boatloads of illegal immigrants to ports on the East coast.
No comments:
Post a Comment